Mr I Builds a Time Machine

Eureka.

With barely any effort, I managed to create a time machine for hurling into the future. And, as hurling would suggest, I’m a little sick. Please, mister, stop the ride and let me off.

My recipe for time travel:

• 2 parts summer distractions
• 3 parts classes
• ½ part mild procrastination
• 17 parts cluelessness, blissful ignorance, and misdirection
• ¼ part “What have I gotten myself into?”
• 4 parts acute anxiety

Throw all the ingredients together into one super-enthusiastic, no-experience, soon-to-be teacher, shake, and voila!: time travel.

That or I’ve pulled a Rip Van Winkle because I’m 92.4% certain that last week was mid-May. Whatever phenomenon it is at work here, I refuse to believe that in less than a fortnight, I’ll be standing in front of a class of merciless, meat-eating 5th graders!

Perhaps now would be a good time to stock up on barf-bags-I have a feeling this ride isn’t going to slow down for a while.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Mr I

Finding One’s Inner Craftsperson

So I’ve started working on classroom decorating, and I think it’s turning into a set-design sort of activity, which is appropriate since these props will help set the stage for helping learning take place-I hope. Otherwise my newly acquired sewing skills will really be going to waste. That’s right, I took my first spin behind a sewing machine last night, and with my wife’s close supervision, I came back with no inadvertent piercings in my hands, an operable sewing machine, and passable renditions of some “wild things” with which to populate an off-the-beaten-trail learning environment. A few more evenings spent cutting, stitching, and stuffing and my very abbreviated version of Dr. Do-Little’s menagerie will be complete (cue lightning, staccato piano, and maniacal cackling).

We’ll see if this endeavor pays off. I’m basing it on what I would’ve found engaging as a 5th grader when I walked into class on the first day; admittedly, though, I have always been easily amused and not terribly sophisticated, so this could go wrong in a hurry. More on that worrisome possibility later.

In the meantime, wish me luck-I tangle with the needle-wielding mangling machine again tonight.

Mr I

Am I Wild Enough About Learning?

It turns out that we elementary teachers have a school-wide classroom theme to open up the year. Apparently, this is routine and a tried & true way of getting little learners excited about the upcoming school year (I think I remember these from my days in elementary school, but I’ll have to take a trip in the Way-Back Machine to know for sure). Our school’s theme is: Wild About Learning. Not too shabby. Leaves the door open to some real creativity.

My challenges: I've not done this classroom-decorating gig before, and I'm not sure how my vision of Wild About Learning is going to go over with a 5th Grade audience. If I can execute my interpretation of the theme as I'd like to, then there is a 112% chance they're going to know what a full-on goofball I am within five seconds of seeing our learning laboratory; on the other hand, they may develop a healthy dose of trepidation about coming to class unprepared to learn. Cute classroom art meets nightmarish 3D props-YEEHAW!

Stay tuned for photos. Maybe.

Mr I

Thirty-Odd Days Before School Starts and I’m Getting Fidgety.

In honor of one of my favorite books, High-Fidelity, I now offer my Top Five most-looked-forward-to days:

5. first day of college (Geaux Tigers!)
4. last day of college (Go Vols!)
3. FIRST DAY OF TEACHING!
2. birthday of my first grandchild (Ethan)
1. gettin’ hitched (to Sue)

The first day of teaching definitely makes the top five, bumping college days down and knocking “first snowfall” out altogether!

I’m feeling something in my gut that’s about equal parts about-to-give-a speech jitters, straight-up terror, and really-great-roller-coaster anticipation. I suspect as the days roll of the calendar, this roiling will only intensify, but that's OK. This is about how I feel when I can bring myself to watch The Exorcist-scared in a good way.

Mr I